My sister Mary and I were 15 months apart, joined at the heart, as well as the hip. For years, Mary and I would send each other variations of a birthday card reading, “Sisters are loved for many things, for friendship most of all.” Who I am, is because of who we were together. Side by side, Mary and I navigated every phase of life, from childhood to adulthood to death.

On June 24, 2000, my beloved sister lost her 15 month battle with lung cancer. During the final two weeks of her illness, Mary received hospice care in her home in southern Illinois. Fortunately, I was able to fly to Illinois to stay with her, and express my love by being her primary caretaker. Along with our younger sister, Angie, Mary’s good friend, Lynn, the hospice nurses, and relatives and friends visiting when possible, we showered Mary with loving care, affection and attention.

A great deal of the time Mary was highly medicated, as her lung cancer had metastasized to her bones, but occasionally she was lucid. One sunny afternoon, Angie and I noted that Mary was awake, and looking at us quizzically.We approached her hospital bed, which was set up in the family room, due to her weakened state. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but at some point Angie and I asked Mary how she planned to communicate with us after her death. Mary said, “Heads up!” To which we replied, “You’ll say heads up or we’ll say heads up?” Mary said, “I’ll say heads up.” Angie and I looked at each other, then nodded to Mary, saying we looked forward to hearing from her – both of us hopeful for an after-life connection to our beloved sister.

My family and I moved to Pennsylvania from Colorado, in October 2000. Angie and I, along with our eldest sister, Judy kept in close contact in the months following Mary’s death. None of us had heard a “heads up,” but not much time had passed since her death. On a clear, bright October day, while walking on a path in our neighborhood, I heard the screech of a Red Tailed Hawk. I immediately looked up to find the hawk circling overhead – I thought to myself…it must be Mary! The hawk crisscrossed the meadow, no doubt, she was making her spirit known to me, or so I thought. One morning a few weeks later, standing at the kitchen sink, daydreaming as I finished the breakfast dishes, thoughts of Mary crossed my mind…they were never far. I thought of Mary saying “heads up”, and lifted my head to look out the window. Much to my surprise and delight, a great blue heron crossed the sky, above the meadow outside my window. At that moment, I knew with every ounce of my being, Mary was contacting me – and she continues to, to this day.

Since that life-affirming morning, I have viewed the elegant flight of great blue herons on many, many occasions: looking out my kitchen window, from my deck, walking in the neighborhood, driving, on vacation, lying on my back in a swimming pool, in other states – each time, I feel connected to Mary’s spirit. And yes, there is a great blue heron or two that nest in the area, but a poll of my neighbors would likely result in very few sightings. It’s all about being in the right place at the right time and keeping your head up. Just two days ago, I let my dog out the front door for a few minutes, walked back in and put my coffee cup in the sink…yep, just as I looked up a blue heron was crossing the sky outside my window. I love you, Mary.

Thus – the origin of my blog name, and the name of this post. And yes, there’s more to the story, but that’s for another post.

Do you believe in spiritual contact? Has a loved one made her/his presence known to you?